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Mike's Optimally Efficient Gift Matrix

Earlier this year I noticed an individual buying quite a few WIRTH Hats on a variety of occasions, my first thought was this person really loves hats! A fellow hat lover. My spidey sense started to activate though and I realized perhaps this person didn’t actually own 20 WIRTH Hats all for himself, maybe there is more to the story here...

After procrastination kicked in for a couple weeks I decided to reach out to this individual for a coffee and see where these WIRTH head hugs may be ending up!

My visit with Mike was a delightful one, I discovered he is someone not only with a big heart who was gifting most of his hats (yet still holding on to a strong collection of 5 for himself) but also an innovative mastermind creating gift matrices in his spare time. Mike went on to explain to me his (patented?) Gift Matrix and how he uses it to make his gifting decisions!

I decided instead of me explaining Mike's Gift Matrix, no better person to explain it than Mike himself. So I asked Mike if we would be willing to write a guest post around our conversation and his gift matrix.

The following is the write up we received from Mike!


"The perfect gift is one that allows us to show our friends and loved ones that we care, that we see them for who they are, and tell a story about our relationship. 

These gifts allow us to say, “Hey, you’re important to me. I care so much that I painstakingly painted a portrait of your teddy bear.

These gifts take time, care, and attention. We only have so many of these in us.

The worst gifts are things that clearly took no effort and actively communicate that you are not understood.  “Oh thank you, ill-fitting snakeskin loafers from the mall” 

Or a massive time commitment: “And it’s a trilogy you say”

Or ongoing care and attention: “What do feral rabbits eat again?”

Or is somewhat insulting: “I didn’t know Axe deodorant was available in such generous portions”

The optimal gift is one that is meaningful, tells a story, actually fits, and is effortless to purchase. My most optimally efficient gift is a Wirth Hat. They look amazing, fit snugly to (almost) any sized melon, support a great cause, and allow us to say in a literal sense, “hey bud, I care for you, I’m here for you, and I want you to look frickin good.”

This year, spare yourself the consumer hell of the mall, the ickiness of Amazon, and the time hole of crafting a Twitter parody account and instead get your buds a Wirth Hat. 

Still aren’t convinced? Refer to the matrix. You can’t just make that stuff up"


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